Random Valduggery Short Stories
by HarmonyB
Summary: Random, cheesy, funny, lovable Valduggery short stories. Read at your own risk. VC/SP
1. Do You Love Me?

_What is Love?_

Skulduggery and Valkyrie were in a parking lot sitting in the Bentley watching for . . . whatever they were supposed to be watching for. Valkyrie's attention went to the sun that was setting on the horizon ahead of them.

Suddenly a question popped into Valkyrie's head and she asked, "Skulduggery, do you love me?"

Out of the corner of her eye she saw his head tilt sharply in her direction. He was silent a moment. Then he shrugged and said as though he were discussing the weather,"'Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly.'"

"If I wanted a fortune cookie I would have stopped at the Chinese restaurant down the road for dinner instead of the Italian."

"But I like Italian." Skulduggery mumbled.

"But you don't even eat! I-," she stopped, took a deep breath, and said calmly, "Just answer the question."

"I care about you," he said with all humor gone from his deep velvet voice. "I care about you a lot. You know that, or else I wouldn't keep risking my neck out for you." He shrugged again looking ahead out the front window. "You got my right head back on my shoulders-"

"Literally," she interrupted.

"-and I owe you for that."

"You owe me a lot."

"Yes."

"Cause I've rescued you a lot."

"Yes."

"And I mean _a lot_."

"Y . . . yeah."

They fell into silence again.

When the sun had disappeared completely below the horizon, Valkyrie spoke up, "What about you car? Do you care more about me or the Bentley?"

Skulduggery banged his head against the back of his seat with a sigh.

She continued. "I mean, I love the Bentley, too, almost as much as you, but . . . you know, it's _just_ a car."

Skulduggery's jaw dropped as he flashed his head in Valkyrie's direction. Then he leaned forward and caressed the car dashboard. "Shh, it's alright, dear, she didn't mean it."

"Oh my god," Valkyrie covered her face with her hand, shaking her head. When she recovered she said, "I'll take it as a 'yes,' anyway."

"Hm? Sorry?" Skulduggery asked while he faced her in the dimness.

"That you love me," she explained.

She could tell he was smiling when he asked, "Why do you need to know? Isn't it enough I risk life and limb for you?"

"Number one: technically you're not living so that complicates the whole 'risking your life' thing. Number two: I'm a woman. Women need that assurance."

"Okay," he laughed, "what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you love me, Valkyrie Cain?" She could hear the smile in his voice.

She rose her eyebrow at him and very slowly turned in her seat until she faced him completely, "Skulduggery?" she said.

"Uh, Valkyrie?" He replied looking at her out of the corner of his eye sockets. He sank into his seat as though preparing for Valkyrie to spring at him.

She looked at him, her mouth upturned in a small smile. Then she replied, "I went to hell and back for you."

* * *

"And then what did she say?" Tanith asked after Skulduggery relayed the whole story to her. They were sitting in the old Hibernian Cinema while Valkyrie was in the kitchen eating Italian with Ghastly and Fletcher.

"Nothing," Skulduggery said with a shrug. "She said nothing else, and I just sat there and stared at her like an idiot."

"Hm," Tanith mumbled squinting in thought.

"What?" He asked.

She stared at the space next to where Skulduggery's ear would have been. Then she blinked and looked at him. "Come to think of it, she _has_ rescued you a lot."

His shoulders slumped over with a sigh. "You have got to be kidding," he whispered to himself.

Tanith rose her brows, her eyes wide. "I mean, _a lot_."

"Tanith," he snapped, "pay attention."

"What do you want me to do?"

"You're a woman, well, a seventy year old woman with the maturity level of a toddler and the attention span of a puppy. You tell me what she meant."

Tanith grumbled crossing her muscled arms over her chest. "Isn't it obvious?"

Skulduggery tilted his head away from Tanith, and he asked slowly, "So would that be a 'yes'?"

"That would be a 'hell yes.'"

"Ah."

"Come on, seriously, how can you _not_ know?" Tanith stood jutting her hip out and placing a hand on it, reminding Skulduggery very much of a pouty four-year-old. "Everybody knows women need assurance." She spun on her heel with the balence of an acrobat and walked away.

Skulduggery watched her leave. He watched the door she disappeared behind. And some more he watched, all the while his mouth hanging open; if he had a face his eyebrows would have been raised. He scoffed, shaking his head.

"Women," he said gruffly. He stood quickly and left the theater, joining the others in the kitchen.


	2. How She Feels

_How She Feels (China's Realization)_

Valkyrie Cain heard the most beautiful piano music. She looked around and found Skulduggery playing on the Grand piano, but his back was to her so he didn't see her watching. The song was beautiful but sad and it made her heart swell with affection for her partner. She wondered what he was thinking of while he played. Of his family perhaps, or something else entirely; a part of her, a very small part, almost minuscule, wished it were she he were thinking of.

She sighed silently as she watched him play. The music decrescendo in a melancholic way and then ceased entirely while the last note echoed throughout the room like a fading good-bye. Valkyrie was taken by surprise when she heard clapping behind her. Both she and Skulduggery spun around at once to look behind them.

The beautiful China Sorrows stood in the doorway clapping with a small grin on her rouged lips.

Valkyrie frowned at the woman. How long had she been standing there? Had she followed Valkyrie?

China stopped clapping and let her hands drop delicately at her sides as she tilted her head at Skulduggery. "Mr. Pleasant, I had never known you were so musically potent, although the crescendoes still had a bit left to be desired."

In one swift motion Skulduggery swirled out of the seat and strode up to the exit. "Just a little something I picked up in my hundreds of years of free time," he mumbled.

Without a glance at Valkyrie he went to the door and passed China on his way out.

China's eyes followed him as he left. When he was gone she sighed, "Oh, that man." Her eyes fell onto Valkyrie and her grin widened. "You enjoyed his performance, didn't you, Valkyrie?"

Valkyrie looked away from the woman's penetrating gaze. So China _was_ watching her the whole time.

China nodded. "I can see now. I can see how you feel about him. It's no longer the friendly admiration as it once was, is it? It's more." China gave a small giggle. "The way you look at him when you think no one's watching," she shook her head sadly at Valkyrie, smiling. "It's . . . it's . . . what is it?" Her brows knit together in such a way only China could make beautiful, but her smile remained. "It's puppy love is what it is. You are ignorant of your affection for him, Valkyrie. If only you knew. If you knew what he has done - the monstrosities-"

"I don't care what he's done." Valkyrie bursted. She had grown hot with embarrassment during China's speech, but she couldn't remain silent any longer. "Except for what we've done for each other. He has saved my life, countless times, and I save his life. That's how it works, despite the consequences."

China's pencil thin eyebrows rose. "Oh? Despite the consequences? So if he led you into a situation where death became inevitable-"

"I would die with pride knowing it was at the side of my partner's," Valkyrie said with her chin held high.

For a glimmer of a moment China's mouth hung open slightly with speechlessness. But she instantly recovered, batting her long eyelashes and smiling innocently.

Before China could continue, Valkyrie straightened her shoulders and walked past her out of the room. She left China staring at the space Valkyrie once occupied.

As Valkyrie huffed out of the room and down the hall her eyes failed to spot Skulduggery listening in, cloaked in the shadows.


End file.
